Blood and Honey
by TenTenD
Summary: Everybody loves. Even those that seem incapable of it. Some can even go mad because of love. Some do. The Justice Lords know it the best perhaps. They've done it. The spiraling down of the Lords seen through the eyes of Wonder Woman and Batman. Can they stay together or will they fall apart? Set in Justice Lords universe! BMWW, in vignettes.
1. Deny, deny, deny

Diana stares at the mirror hanging in her room. The reflection looking back at her is tired, devastated and angry all at once. She is so upset. They had lost Wally. Poor Wally. Sweet, genuine, friendly Wally, who made them laugh with his bad, inappropriate jokes. Their friend, who was now gone; killed by Luthor. Her eyes narrow. Even though Luthor had been annihilated, she doesn't feel any better. One punch later there's a considerable dent in the wall.

Her mirror image glares accusingly. She had crossed the line today. They all had. But Luthor deserved it, she reasons. The glare holds. "He deserved to die!" she yells furiously at the woman in the mirror who is all but reproving her. Metaphorically speaking that hateful man's blood is on her hands – even if there was no blood, just a laser factored lobotomy – she did nothing to stop it. Guilt eats away at her. Blue eyes go back to the mirror.

Hastily she gropes around for something. She's no longer Wonder Woman of yesterday. She's not the dame; different. Her fingers close around hard metal. The scissors clatter loudly as she lifts the object. One hand grips a thick portion of hair soundly and noisily chops it off. Black strands fall to the ground. She's done it, now there's no turning back. Ironically, these words can apply to everything else that has been going on this past couple of days. She looks victoriously at the other her, that woman behind the glass. She's not helpless; she isn't.

The door hisses behind her. Without turning, Diana knows it's Bruce. Not Batman, but Bruce. His cowl is off in the mirror. He looks from her hand holding the scissors to the hair on the floor. The Amazon half-expects him to say something; he doesn't. Bruce takes the scissors from her and pulls her hair back, running his fingers through the silky locks. "Let me do it." His voice is a whisper against her ear and she nods. He is protecting her, in his own way. The heat of his body radiates towards her. She's too weak to protest; she wants to feel safe again.

Moments later she feels it. The weight of her hair is slowly going down. Surreptitiously she glances down. There is a pile of dark hair. Lifeless. That's when the tears start pouring. Diana closes her eyes, trying to hold them back out of habit. Still, they trickle down her cheeks. The scissors land on the floor with a loud bang and two arms wrap around her. She can't stop crying. Surprisingly the face that buries in her neck is also wet. She wants to turn around but he stops her with a small kiss to her throat. They stay like that for an indefinite amount of time.

Later, after they have no tears left to cry, he whirls her around gently. Diana wraps her own arms around Bruce and places her head on his shoulder. Humming softly in the back of her throat is all she can do now. Although there are a lot of things that she should be doing at the moment, nothing comes to mind. Bruce runs his fingers through her now short hair – looking in the mirror is not necessary; it barely touches her shoulders – and kisses her forehead. She tightens her hold in response and raises slowly to kiss his lips.

"We'll get through this."

"We will."

* * *

It seems that most assume that the Lords are evil. There is a difference between malicious and suffering, but it's a thin line.

The first stage is denial.


	2. Transatlanticism

Another one fell today. Diana brushes her hair from her face with light strokes and thinks about the events that took place. Poison Ivy attacked a laboratory this day in search for a formula. Unfortunately for her the Lords knew about her plan. As soon as she entered the building Green Lantern caught her in a power bubble. She managed to escape; just barely. But Superman was waiting for it to happen and Ivy couldn't get far. The laser rays took care of the rest. Now Wonder Woman is left sitting in a chair wondering if what they did was right. Even if it isn't, it's too late to do anything about it; Ivy's gone. A strange sense of sickness takes over Diana.

A hand she knows so well takes hers, pulling the Amazon out of her reverie. Bruce always pulls her away from such thoughts. "It had to be done." he tells her softly, as if trying to convince himself too of the truth of his words. "It's better like this." Ice blue eyes stare trough her. Diana realizes that he's mentally going trough today's fight. He's drifting away and leaving her behind. Lost in them, Bruce doesn't notice her frightened gaze or the way her hands clench around his. She's so scared of being alone right now. Holding on in the only solution she has.

Bruce is worlds away now. Mechanically he sits down, gripping her hand in a slack hold. Diana says nothing and lets him be. Her head falls on his shoulder and the detective contemplates. It is almost saddening to her; he's so close yet so far away. But he always comes back and that gives her comfort. Bruce is the constant in an ever changing world. The movement of his arm tells her that he's back. Back to her after filing away the useful information. Diana can't begrudge him the wish to keep them all safe. Not after Flash. Not ever.

Her smile is radiant and the shine is back in her eyes. Bruce offers a half-smile of his own. He'll never be comfortable with expressing his feelings but he's trying. "We did what we had to." Diana concludes. The war inside of her is stopped for the moment and she can think clearly. "I'm glad you're alright." she whispers against his shoulder before she feels his lips on her forehead. The silence lingers after her confession. It blankets them in a sense of security that, false as it is, allows them their much needed rest. For now all is fine.

Like all good things, it doesn't last. The door opens with a shrill creak and Superman steps in. He looks at hem, suspicion in his eyes. Lately, he's suspicious of everything and everyone. Wally's death changed him the most. "What are the two of you doing here?" The dangerous edge in his voice prompts Diana to raise her head slowly and steel her gaze. Bruce's eyes are already set in a withering glare that challenges Superman to say anything else. Wally would've known what to say in this situation, no doubt. Everything is falling apart and Diana feels helpless. She can't stop it.

"We were just leaving." Bruce voices and pulls Diana up with him. She nods at Kal to strengthen what was just said.

"Do try to keep your feelings in check." the Kryptonian sneers.

Diana can see Bruce is about to reply scathingly and stops him with a look.

Just because they are falling apart doesn't mean she has to acknowledge it. "We'll see you later, Kal."

* * *

_Transatlanticism_ - n. The state of being in a long-distance relationship with another person over the Atlantic Ocean; here referring to the size of the gap forming between the members of the Trinity.


	3. Staring at the Sun

When does it all become too much to bear? Diana can't say she knows; she doesn't pretend to know. But the signs are identifiable, Lois makes sure of it. The reporter is calm and collected, almost glacial in her demeanour. Days ago the same woman was screaming hysterically and punching Kal's chest, throwing curses around like confetti. If Superman is bothered he doesn't show it. Diana secretly thinks he's been taking lessons on impassiveness from Bruce. She glances at Bruce only to find a similar indifferent look on his face. Lois' eyes are blank and Diana finds it hard to swallow the bitterness.

The Amazon's hands itch and the smile on her lips falters for a moment. Kal is telling Lois about Gorilla Grodd and the reporter looks none too happy. For one horrifying second Diana feels guilt welling up; Lois is a firm believer that their method of dealing with the villains is exaggerated. The feeling is stoutly shrugged away with a mental wrench. Grodd had it coming. Too long had he been allowed wreak havoc upon the innocent. Diana exchanges a look with Bruce; it's a silent plea on her part. She wants to be alone with Lois for a little bit. Bruce understands and manipulates the conversation so as to take Superman's attention off of the two females.

Diana pulls Lois out on the balcony. "You are like a sister to me." she says sweetly. The shock on the other woman's face seems genuine. Lavender eyes fill with something like affection and her lips curve ever so slightly. "So believe me when I say that we mean no harm. This won't last forever." Why must she explain herself to Lois, Diana isn't sure but she does it anyway. A sigh is her reply. The harshness is completely gone from Lois' bearing. The Amazon smiles and holds out her hand which Lois clasps a second later. "I'd hate to lose you friendship."

"All of you are so different." Melancholy haunts Diana at those words. She has thought that too. But people are bound to change.

"It's for the best, Lois." is the only thing she can say.

"Perhaps." It's a half-hearted agreement but Diana knows how to count her blessings.

They head back in with twin smiles on their faces. For the time being both have what they need: hope. Lois can believe that things would go back to the way they were; Diana can trust that she hasn't yet lost another friend. The subtle glance Bruce gives her is an inquiry which is answered with a gentle nod. Superman nods at both of them but his eyes are cold. Diana has to hold back a shudder at his gaze sweeps over her. Distantly she wonders if Lois can feel it too. Maybe she can; she shivers next to Diana.

There's a sudden pain after her and Bruce leave Lois' place. Her eyes itch and there are spots all over her vision. Diana leans against her partner for support. The blurriness makes her head ache and the holes in the images frustrate her. It's like someone has shined a strong light very close to her face. Slowly her sight regains its usual state of health. The pain is a dull roar that she settles at the back of her mind. She chooses to think about Shayera instead and her developing relationship with John. The Thanagarian has been glowing lately and Diana is ever excited for her friend.

"Princess," Bruce calls for her attention, "are you spending the night?"

She smirks. "What do you think?" He chuckles at her answer. The pain is almost gone from her eyes.

* * *

In which there is something lingering, something that feels suspiciously like guilt and Lois has the ability to dig it up in Diana.


	4. Almost Grown

Folding the clothes and putting them in the closet, Diana feels at peace. It's a strange feeling she hasn't been able to conjure for some time but it is here and she's enjoying it. Bruce is in the cave, no doubt working on one of his projects, closing himself off. She elects not to bother him; he'll come to her when he's done. In the meantime she's left aboveground with a house to explore. Alfred is waiting for her to be done with the unpacking. Initially the butler had offered to do it but Diana refused; some things are better left to her.

_"Where has my daughter gone to? Who are you?" _Hippolyta asks when Diana visits. She has donned a new costume and her hair is short and dishevelled, her skin paler. The queen's words are no attack, although Diana perceives them as such. Her mother still wraps her arms around her and presses a loving kiss to her forehead. The thing that makes her blow up is hearing that her daughter is in a long-term relationship with a man. _"Of all the things, Diana, why this?"_ It is useless to try to make her understand; her mother is set in her ways.

_ "You're only going to get hurt."_ Her mother's words ring in her ears. Hippolyta, her queen and mother, has constantly expressed her disapproval of Diana's relationship with Bruce. Of course it's not like her daughter will ever give the man up just because her mother says so. If anything the queen's regular advice is starting to drive Diana crazy. She just wishes her mother would see to running the island and not her life. _"Men can not be trusted. My little sun and starts, I'm trying to protect you."_ Yet Diana has no desire to be protected. There is no need for her m other to shelter her.

Not once does Diana dare to look in her mother's eyes and let the older woman see inside her. She is still battling her demons; blood still lingers on her hands. Hippolyta presses and in the end Diana has to tell her about Kal's new method of punishment. She makes sure to show her support in front of the queen. Hippolyta seems sceptic but does not embark on a longwinded speech about it. She trusts her daughter to make the right decision; that will perhaps prove to be her biggest mistake. Diana leaves the island torn between her own desires and her mother's disapproval.

So here she is now, newly moved into Bruce's home. It's a house really but in time Diana hopes to make it a home. She may be a warrior but part of her is still woman; and the woman wants things all women want: security, comfort, love, a family. Somehow she has gotten it in her head that Bruce will be the one to give her that. There have been some vague talks about their future and he tends to use _'we'_ which gives her hope. Alfred is supportive now; he wants Bruce to be happy. His ward deserves it; more than others might think.

The sky rumbles and Diana finally looks up. It looks like rain; the clouds have gathered in a dark canopy, covering any shard of blue. A strange feeling lurks in the dimness and Diana shivers. "Don't ruin your mood with such assumptions," she convinces herself, "It's not worth it." Tentatively she smiles and closes the closet. Maybe she should sleep a bit; she feels tired. A storm is coming, approaching fast. Her senses are alert as always and that discomforting feeling persists. Diana blinks the concerns away. It is not the time to sulk. There are things to be enjoyed here.

"Alfred, if you'd be so kind as to give me a tour." she prompts, gingerly stepping out of the room.

* * *

Onward we go. As I said, there is a storm coming.


	5. That's me Trying

Her fist makes contact with the wall and Diana curses harshly. It's not like her but she long felt herself slipping away. The truth – the very one she refuses to believe, even as it stares in her face – is that she's lost. She lost herself somewhere along the line – probably after Wally was lost to them all. Too much lost, she thinks. The word features in her mind too frequently. "Hades take it," she mutters. Unfocused eyes snap with clarity. She glares at Batman. "What can I do to make you listen?" Absolutely nothing; she knows that. His mind's made up and nothing can change it now.

Serious reflection brings her to the conclusion that she is lost – not because she doesn't want to be found – because she can't seem to let go of the past. She can't let go of Wally and she can't let go of what they were a few short years ago. It's startling to realise she is not that strong.

"We've chosen our path." This time it's Bruce that speaks to her. "You can't back out just because it's not a bed of roses. Have you been labouring under the misconception that it'd be easy?"

Fury explodes on her face and for one terrifying moment, she's ready to crush his skull. Instead she takes three deep breaths. "I'm not an idiot," she replies, deceptively calm. Between walking away and breaking every bone in his body, she chooses the former. Quiet steps guide her to the door.

"Where are you going?" The venom in his voice is chilling to her ears. "We're not done talking," he says hurrying after her. Her wrist is snatched with a firm grip – it's not enough to stop her though.

"I'm done with this." It's an angry retort and she deliberately uses the singular form. How can there be a 'we' when lately all they do is fight? Nothing big – but she can't help thinking it would be better if it were. It's the small things that set them off. Of course underneath it all lies the crux of the matter. Diana wants to go back to what once was and Bruce pulls her forward. And Hades take it all, she's trying but it's not working.

What started with Wally's death, with just one villain obliterated had been growing and growing, and eating away at her. The others found the transition easier. Even Bruce, to her surprise – and horror – can stomach it. But for some reasons Diana can't. It's not that she herself hasn't taken lives before, but she feels like they are loosing themselves. Slowly, but surely.

Spinning her around, Bruce drags her back to the room and the settee. "Princess, I don't know what brought this on, but I'm tired."

"So am I," she submits moments later. The cushion dips under the additional weight as he joins her. "It's exhausting." She would never think to admit this to anyone else.

Bruce slips an arm around her shoulders. He doesn't say anything. He doesn't have to. It's a tender moment when he brushes his lips to her temple. It's soothing, but the fear inside of her subsides for just an instant. Then it's back with a vengeance.

Maybe it's time to face the truth – that horrible truth which won't let her sleep at night; not that she sleeps much anymore. Her courage leaves her at this challenge and she sags against Bruce.

* * *

And that's that I suppose.


	6. Sympathy for the Devil

The flesh yields in her grip and the bone snaps from the strong pressure applied to it. The crunch is there. Wonder Woman stares at her handiwork. Ceetah has stopped struggling in her arms. She's gone now, that's for sure. One more enemy down. Her fingers are still holding the corpse. Diana knows that she should be scared. But this is not the first time Wonder Woman takes a life. Although, the numbness feels unnatural to her. Surely she should be able to feel something – remorse even. However Diana doesn't. Still, one more villain is never to be a bother again. And that's a good thing.

Blank whiteness stares at her. Batman drags himself up; she doesn't offer to help – her hands are full. Gently he pries one hand away from the opponent's crushed neck. There is nothing to be said and the pitter-patter of rain fills the silence. Tears don't fall; it's just water streaming from above. The Dark Knight forces the other hand to loosen its grasp also. The body falls down with an insignificant thud. "Princess." The word lingers between them. It flickers with something akin to hope then diminishes until it fades. Batman's gaze never falters even when his words dare not come.

Only, she not! Wonder Woman is not Diana – they are so very different, after all – and her eyes narrow at the use of the endearment. "Batman," she returns coolly. Somewhere in the back of her mind that old struggle between who she was and who she is ensues once more. Blue eyes soften. "Are you alright?" Ceetah shouldn't have had the courage to approach him with those claws. She can see the blood.

When her mother trained her she used to say it was hard – but quick – to take a life. Even harder, she passed the knowledge to her daughter, was to know when not to take a life. But they've been sparing lives and that changed nothing. Disposing of the enemies was much more permanent. It's these snap decisions, Diana concludes after taking one last look at Ceetah, that come back to haunt her.

"I didn't actually think you'd do it," Superman voices from somewhere behind her. Batman shakes his head, his hand still holding hers – which is strangely restless. "At least Arkham will have vacancies now."

Later when it's only Diana and Bruce in the Wayne Manor, she can finally ponder over the rightness – or lack thereof – of her decision. She took one life to save another. She took a life not because she enjoyed it – although that had been there, buried deep where she didn't have to acknowledge it. Wonder Woman is a warrior as clearly as Diana is a woman. The destroyer and the nurturer are never at peace with one another. It's a loosing battle. But which is the side to loose? Diana doesn't know.

"I miss it sometimes," she confesses while leaning into Bruce on the couch. "Don't you ever feel the need to be like that again?" They were idealists once; believing they could make a difference.

"We've made a progress. Why turn back?" It's sound logic. Bruce is nothing if not tied to reason, so Diana accepts his words. Indeed, why change what has been improved? What would the point be?

Finally relaxing, Diana shifts against Bruce and rewards him with a brilliant smile. Why bother over Ceetah? She has been a mere ghost of the woman she once was. Superman took care of that. It remains unanswered what prompted her violent outburst. After one of Superman's treatment, villains didn't usually retain the capacity to do damage. It's so very strange. Tired of pondering, Diana gives up. She's rather let it go.

* * *

There is this grey in-between which separates good from bad. And Diana lingers for a short while.


End file.
